A Ritual for Sensuality

Turning the shower into a private devotion

This is the third and final part of my Valentine’s Day series. If you haven’t yet, I recommend starting with parts one and two…. they lay the foundation for creating the silkiest, most caressable skin imaginable.

This piece is also part of a longer conversation I’m having—with myself, and with you—about unpacking and rediscovering my relationship to sensuality.

“My auntie showers with the lights off, and it’s weird,” I overheard my thirteen-year-old niece telling her homegirl one day on the phone.

I sweetly interrupted and explained that showering with the lights off and a candle lit was simply part of my grown-woman shower ritual. They—along with my niece’s mom—still think it’s a little strange. But for me, it’s something I’ve done for almost every shower I take. It’s part of how I curate a container of sensuality for myself.

For me, a shower is a multi-sensory experience. I think about the lighting, the music, the scent. I protect this container fiercely. No phones. No partners. No pets. No children. No interruptions. This is time I carve out to tend to myself, which means setting boundaries and honoring them.

What follows is how I create that container, and how a shower becomes a ritual.